Monday, February 21, 2011

The Branding

I had my first bitter taste of being single yesterday.  I was sitting on a bench outside the movie theaters, patiently waiting for a movie to begin by engaging in some people-watching, when a sweet elderly woman from Wisconsin sat next to me and sparked up a conversation.  She mostly talked about her sons, a specific bachelor son, the farm she lives on, and her snowbird status.  I mostly listened, fascinated at having met someone, anyone new without even trying on my part.  It was refreshing and quite interesting.  But then the conversation turned to me...

She asked if I were waiting to see a movie and if I were waiting for someone to see the movie with.  I smiled and answered promptly, not realizing the trap I was walking headfirst into.  I said, "Yes, I'm waiting for my movie to start" and "No, I'm not waiting for anyone."  Then her next words cut me deep-"My you're a brave one."  The smile on her face seemed to falter a bit, and I tasted the bitterness of my...status.  My single status, that is.  And thus began the branding...

To make matters extremely worse, she's been having a wonderful time being single again.  She's been hitting the nightlife and making new friends, even going on a few dates (filled with the kind of drama she seems to be craving nowadays).  I'm far from jealous...I'm simply disappointed.  One of the reasons she gave me for the break up was she wanted to go out more and make new friends, to socialize, and I didn't.  I don't want to hit the clubs; my clubbing days are over, and I never enjoyed the meat-packing scene anyway...although I did enjoy the dancing.  I also refused to meet her superficial friends after the horrible stories she's shared with me (i.e., the gay Alex who determines point-blank whether you're hot or not, branding you for life).  Call me anti-social, I guess...But it doesn't really matter now.  It's over.  We're over.  She's doing great, and I'm...well I'm just peachy.

Seriously.

On a lighter note, I had a dream in which my Auntie Perle made an appearance.  It was odd as I haven't dreamed of her in a long while, but it was comforting nonetheless.  During difficult and trying times in my past, I always sought her out, hoping her wisdom and courage would console and inspire me.  Sigh.  I miss her.

I must embrace this newfound freedom...

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