Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Merry Christmas!

BB and I ate at Denny's for breakfast and then picked up a couple of DVDs from Blockbuster. That was how we spent our Christmas. It is, by far, the best Christmas we've had. Why? Because we're together and in love. And because my special gift from BB had me screaming for more. Ahem! Need I elaborate?! Buy the book!

Quinn's spending Christmas back home with the family. Last I heard, they found his box but have yet to find his luggage. I'd be fuming mad. I hope they find his luggage BEFORE he leaves on December 28. How awful.

Jacob and Lucas called to wish BB and I a Merry Christmas. They were making mimosas (sp?). What the hell is a mimosa?

BB's in bed, and I'm about to publish this post. All is quiet. Peaceful. The way it should be.

May the holidays fill you and yours with warmth, love, happiness, and peace.

I know, I know. I promised you a Christmas photo. Here's a close-up of our tree. Enjoy!

Merry Christmas!

Just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas before BB and I head out for breakfast. I shall write more and possibly even post a Christmas photo upon my return. Happy Holidays!

Sunday, December 17, 2006


My brother and I have made amends. He called me the day after "the fight" to apologize. He said what he said in anger and he didn't mean it. I apologized in return. We plan to spend more time with eachother in the new year. I'm happy that I have him back.

Sabrina gave me the following quiz to be completed with the aid of an MP3 player. Play along with me, will you?

First, put your MP3 player on shuffle and then hit play. Write the first song that plays in the first category below, skip to the next song and note that song in the second category, and so on and so forth. Each song represents the respective category in your life story. Here goes...

1. Opening Credits: "Take a Bow" by Madonna
2. Waking Up: "One Day More!" from the musical Les Miserables
3. First Day of School: "My Strongest Suit" from the musical AIDA
4. Work: "The Worst Pies in London" from the musical Sweeney Todd
5. Falling in Love: "For Good" from the musical Wicked
6. Fight Song: "Green Finch and Linnet Bird" from the musical Sweeney Todd
7. Break-Up Song: "Swim" by Madonna
8. Prom: "This Is How I Disappear" by My Chemical Romance
9. Life: "Not While I'm Around" from the musical Sweeney Todd
10. Mental Breakdown: "Tune Up #2" from the musical RENT
11. Driving: "The Heart of Life" by John Mayer
12. Flashback: "No Place Like London" from the musical Sweeney Todd
13. Getting Back Together: "La Vie Boheme B" from the musical RENT
14. Wedding: "Thank You For The Music" from the musical Mama Mia!
15. Birth of a Child: "Money, Money, Money" from the musical Mama Mia!
16. Final Battle: "Knowing Me, Knowing You" from the musical Mama Mia!
17. Death Scene: "The Ballad of John and Yoko" from the Beatles 1
18. Funeral Song: "Lonely Room" from the musical Oklahoma!
19. Ending Credits: "Hello, Goodbye" from the Beatles 1

Some of the songs in my category don't make sense, and yet there are several that make absolute sense. I laughed at my results. I have several musicals in my MP3 player. And I have a lot of Madonna songs. I'm disappointed that Madonna didn't pop up more often. However, I'm glad that my opening credits feature Madonna's "Take a Bow."

Have fun and make your life story memorable.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Out of My Life

My brother and I had the worst fight tonight. And I think this may be our last fight ever. You see, I'm respecting his wishes and acknowledging my own. He said "I want you out of my life!" over and over again. At first, I reacted in anger. He yelled, I yelled. We both expressed our frustrations, disappointments, and anger with one another. We both cried. We both yelled until we could no longer hear the other person. We hung up on eachother. He called back several minutes later. To my surprise, we were both calm. But we were both determined. You see, we were both right. And yet, we were both wrong. I blame him. He blames me. There's no going back now. This wasn't one of our usual spats. We both knew deep down that we couldn't bounce back from this fight. He said "I want you out of my life" again. And I said that the feeling was mutual. I didn't fight this time. I didn't argue or explain my point of view. I didn't make an effort to patch things up. We both knew this was coming. We both knew that we had changed. Much more than we cared to admit and more so than we wanted. As such, I'm respecting my brother's wish to sever all ties. Although I'm angry, sad, and disappointed, I find myself somewhat relieved. We are bad for eachother. And being in eachother's life would only foster hatred and spite. I love my brother, and I don't want to hate him. He's the only sibling I have. If this is the only way to save what's left of our relationship, then so be it. I cried. I cried for him. I cried for me. I cried for us. I cried for the way we used to be and how much we used to mean to eachother. I cried for our past, present, and future. I cried, and I still cry. He's my brother, for God's sake! I love him, and I'll respect his wishes. And despite all that transpired tonight, I wish only the best for him. I hope and pray that he is blessed with happiness, love, success, and most of all, peace of mind.

Letting go of a loved one is the hardest thing to do. But you need to believe that something good will come out of a disheartening situation.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Reversion and Redemption

I've done it. I've reverted back to my youth. How? By succumbing to peer pressure and watching "Degrassi: The Next Generation." Ugh. Don't tell me. I know. But I can't help it. It's addicting. I'm an addict. A bona fide Degrassi addict. Remember the original Degrassi? It used to be on PBS. I remember Joey Jeremiah with his awful fedora and a very pregnant and troubled Spike. I remember. I know. How awful. But I loved the original. And now I'm loving TNG. Go ahead. Judge me. LoL

BB bought me a Christmas tree last week. It was a surprise. After all the whining about wanting a Christmas tree, she bought it while I was at work and then texted me a photo of it. Needless to say, I was surprised and extremely happy. I beamed and showed my tree off to my friends at work. I called BB to thank her and to tell her how much I love her. I didn't believe that I could be any more in love with my BB. But I am.

I've reconnected with my family. Our relationship has been non-existent for the past year. I can tell you that "out of sight, out of mind" works, but that's not really why I haven't talked with my family in so long. I believe the reason why is I have this fear that I'm being judged by my family and that they perceive me as a failure. I know this stems from my own insecurity, and I'm trying hard to overcome it. That's why I've decided to reconnect with my family. I need to believe that they love and support me no matter what. There may be some who do and some who don't. But it doesn't matter whether they do or don't or what they may or may not think of me. I need to believe in myself and stand up for what's right for me. It's the only way for me to move on and to be happy. It's the only way for me to redeem my life.

Tomorrow is our Holiday Christmas Party at work. I participated in the Secret Santa gift-sharing game. I hope that I receive what I asked for (a Walmart or Target gift card). We're having a full-course meal and some karaoke for entertainment. I may work up the courage and sing a song. FAME! LoL

I have Madonna's "Jump" on repeat. I love this song! MADONNA IS A GENIUS!

I'm currently reading Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre. I've been meaning to read this book since college, but could never get around to it. I've read several chapters already, and I'm impressed by how much I enjoy it. I highly recommend this book, as well as Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. Now that's a deep, dark, and emotion-filled masterpiece.

Patch up your life. It's the only way to happiness. It's the only one you have.