Oy Vey!

I woke up at 10:30 a.m. with an awful headache and neck pain. We really need a new bed or at the very least, new pillows. I fixed myself a bowl of cereal of the generic kind (thanks to frugal me, of course) and ate it for the sake of eating breakfast (er brunch?), and not because I really wanted to. I drank the leftover milk from the bowl and then searched the fridge for something...salty. There wasn't much to choose from, mostly leftovers. I eyed the barbecue beef sticks with hope that it would satisfy my need. It didn't, but what's new? I sat on the sofa and turned on the telly. I surfed for a while, but nothing appealed to me. So I got up and perused my pathetic DVD collection. I opted for a lesbian flick. Unfortunately, I chose Kissing Jessica Stein.

Kissing Jessica Stein annoyed me. Ironically, I used to love this film. Hence the reason why I own it. I don't know why I loved it. Granted, the actresses are beautiful, but the story is...annoying. I don't know how else to describe it. There were several things about the film that I never gave much thought to in the past, but which disgusted and angered me this time around. For example, Jessica's facial expression and body language after making love with Helen for the first time. She looked disgusted with what she had done. If I had just made love with a beautiful woman like Helen, I would not have that look on my face and would not have the urge to be anywhere but where I am. And upon watching the film this time around, I couldn't deny the fact that Jessica is so damn straight! Who was she kidding?! And who was I kidding in the past?! Her issues ran deeper than simply figuring out her sexual preference. Maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe I wanted the ending to be different with Jessica and Helen staying together and being in love with one another. Or maybe I'm too focused on GLBT issues to see the bigger picture. Sigh. I felt like Jessica could have saved everyone, including herself, a lot of heartbreak if she had simply been true to herself (i.e., a straight woman) and admitted that her love for Helen was a love between best friends. Kissing Jessica Stein is a film about a neurotic straight woman who takes a risk with the wrong person simply because it's the risk which has been building since...birth. She risks loving a woman and discovers that it's not so bad, if only she weren't so heterosexual. In the end, she learns how to be less neurotic (I hope), finds a new best friend in aforementioned female lover, and discovers men all over again. Oy vey!

Alas, the one great and endearing aspect about the film is the following quote from Letters to a Young Poet by one of my favorite writers, Rainer Maria Rilke:

For it is not inertia alone that causes the unspeakably monotonous and unrenewed human condition to repeat itself again and again. It is the aversion to anything new, any unpredictable experience, which is believed to be untenable.

After I cursed the film and put the DVD back in its place, I took a couple of pills to relieve my headache and pain. I downed the suckers with OJ, desperately wishing that I had some Vodka to make a screwdriver. I lay on the sofa and watched Matlock until BB came home. BB, my saving grace. She pampered me and massaged my neck. I'm feeling much better now.

I've been meaning to share my Top 5 female celebrities. Here goes:

1. Madonna
2. Jordana Brewster
3. Milla Jovovich
4. Piper Perabo
5. Rachel Shelley

At one point in time, Angelina Jolie ranked #2 on my list. But since her bitter remarks about Madonna, I bumped her down to #6. Furthermore, my Top 5 is a list of female celebrities who are exceptionally HOT in my opinion. Who's in your Top 5?

On a final note, I really don't have anything important to say which ties in with this post. I could tell you to never buy generic cereal brands or never watch a DVD you love while your head feels like it's about to explode. Or I could tell you to add Madonna to your Top 5. Hmm...

Add Madonna to your Top 5 list of exceptionally HOT female celebrities. Better yet, rank her #1. And...don't drink and drive.

Hillary Clinton in 2008

I am absolutely thrilled that Hillary Clinton is campaigning for U.S. President in 2008! I'm a lot more optimistic of our nation's future now that she's made her decision. I'm also optimistic that our nation has evolved immensely as the likes of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama enter the race for the most powerful office in the United States. Although I'm backing Hillary Clinton all the way, I like what I've seen and heard from Barack Obama. Hillary v. Barack. This will be most interesting to watch as the campaign trail for the Democratic nomination unfolds. All I know is we need change. But we need a person competent enough to effect and enforce change in our country. I believe Hillary Clinton is that person. She has the political experience and a political agenda that works. Hillary Clinton in 2008!!!

You know, the winning ticket is Hillary Clinton as President and Barack Obama serving as her Vice President. Now that would be history in the making!!!

Change is good and long overdue. Hillary Clinton in 2008!

D.E.B.S.

If you haven't seen the film D.E.B.S., then I suggest that you hop on down to the nearest video store and rent it. OMG! D.E.B.S. is hilarious, heartwarming, and action-packed! It's about crime-fighting college girls on a mission for the US Government to capture a notorious villainess. I "ooohhhed" and "aaahhhed" when unexpected love blossomed between the D.E.B.S.' "perfect score" and the "devil" herself. I must say, the women of D.E.B.S. are beautiful and quite a wonderful sight for sore eyes! Sara Foster and Jordana Brewster together...need I say more?! Jordana Brewster is absolutely gorgeous! And her lip-sync of "A Little Respect" by Erasure (lyrics below) had me crushing and singing.

I've tried to discover

A little something to make me sweeter

Oh baby refrain from breaking my heart

I'm so in love with you

I'll be forever blue

That you give me no reason

Why you're making me work so hard

That you give me no

That you give me no

That you give me no

That you give me no

Soul, I hear you calling

Oh baby please, give a little respect to me

And if I should falter

Would you open your arms out to me?

We can make love, not war

And live at peace with our hearts

I'm so in love with you

I'll be forever blue

What religion or reason

Would drive a man to forsake his lover?

Don't you tell me no

Don't you tell me no

Don't you tell me no

Don't you tell me no

Soul, I hear you calling

Oh baby please, give a little respect to me

I'm so in love with you

I'll be forever blue

That you give me no reason

You know you're making me work so hard

That you give me no

That you give me no

That you give me no

That you give me no

Soul, I hear you calling

Oh baby please, give a little respect to me

Soul, I hear you calling

Oh baby please, give a little respect to me

Don't make the one you love work too hard for you.

I'll try to remember that the next time I make things difficult for BB.

The Return

Maggie's back. BAM is together once again. But for how long? Sigh. I can't believe that Maggie cheated on Bianca. But then I couldn't believe that Bianca would have sex with someone she wasn't in love with. Someone other than Maggie. And what about this Zarf character? Will Zarf and Bianca become one, as their storyline initially indicated, thereby merging them into Barf? Ugh. I'm thrilled about the return and that Maggie wants Bianca back. But will Bianca forgive her? Will BAM reunite? As an avid fan, I sure as hell hope so! Long live BAM!

Speaking of the return, Jacob and I got together yesterday for a dose of "coffee talk." I was taken aback when he called with an invitation to come together. I wholeheartedly accepted and met him at a bookstore cafe. We caught up with eachother's lives and shared insightful information about our personal feelings and desires in life. We tried to recapture the intense conversations we had in the past, but the intensity was as bland as English food. We've both changed so much. At least I know that I've changed. I'm no longer the angst-driven person full of doubt and afraid of disappointments. I've had my fair share of disappointments, and I've learned to acknowledge and accept them. It wasn't easy and it still isn't, but I know what my priorities are and have a newfound perspective on life.

Jacob, on the other hand, continues to question his past choices and his purpose in life. He mentioned that he needed to get away from Lucas and the kids and that he regrets buying the home he shares with Lucas. He regrets the purchase because money is tight, thereby preventing him from traveling. He shared with me his passion for traveling and maintains hope in someday becoming the world traveler that he always wanted to be. Jacob also regrets leaving the military because now he feels as if he has no purpose. Finally, he stated that his actions are done to impress others and not necessarily done for himself. I didn't know what to say to him. He wasn't as happy as he'd previously led me to believe, and I felt sorry for him.

I also felt that Jacob wanted me to be as miserable as he was so there would be proof that what he's going through is OK. He kept asking me questions, wanting the inside dirt on my personal and professional life. In the past, I would have picked this very moment to complain about anything and everything. This time, I didn't. I didn't have a single thing on my mind which I needed to vent about. Instead, I told him the truth. The truth is I'm happy and content. And although I've made mistakes in the past, I have no regrets as to what I've done, where I've been, and who I am. Every moment of my life has led me to where I am and made me who I am today. I've grown up, figured out my priorities, faced my demons, accepted my successes and failures, and discovered a different perspective on life. Jacob looked at me dumbfounded, unbelieving. I didn't care whether he believed me or not. What I did care about is making Jacob believe that he could be just as happy and content. I advised him to seek that which will make him happy, not that which would make others happy. I told him to look within to find happiness and peace. I said that the years are wearing on and that he must choose his battles wisely and understand that sacrifices must be made. I tried to make him understand that it's OK to have these questions, but that he must know how to find and accept the answers. I didn't want to blatantly tell him that maybe the reason why he's so full of doubt, disappointments, and regret is because he is unhappy with Lucas and the life they share. I needed him to figure that out on his own. I could tell from his actions that he wants out and needs to be free. All the signs are there, but Jacob's either in denial or afraid to break Lucas' heart. I hope and pray that he finds what it is he's searching for and peace of mind.

Be true to yourself and everything that's falling apart will soon fall into place.

A New Year

Happy New Year! I know, I'm a bit late. But better late than never, right? I've been meaning to post, but I simply couldn't find the stamina. Here goes...

BB and I welcomed in 2007 without much fanfare. We had dinner with Quinn on New Year's Eve and then parted ways. Quinn joined the masses to ring in the new year, and BB and I rang in the new year in the comfort (and warmth) of our home. We filled our pockets with money and opened each and every drawer, cupboard, and closet in our home to allow the bad spirits to leave, thereby allowing the new (and good) spirits to enter our home. It's a family and cultural tradition. We jumped up and down with joy, jingled the coins in our pockets, and shared a lovely kiss as the clock struck midnight. As the saying goes, you'll spend the new year with the person you're spending New Year's Eve/Day with. BB and I together for another year and I pray for many years to come. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I believe I'm off to a good start this year. My New Year's resolutions are to eat healthy, be fit, and abstain from negativity. You see, 2007 will be a momentous year for BB and I. It will be a defining and life-altering year. BB and I plan to have a civil union and to start our family this year. Thus, my New Year's resolutions are not simply self-benefiting, but are in preparation for our baby, our family, and our life together.

The great thing so far about 2007 is family. Quinn and I are on good terms. In fact, he's moving in with us so we can all save money this year; he wants to pay off his credit card debt and we want to financially prepare for our family. Furthermore, my family back home is supportive of BB and I and of our civil union and family plans. Our friends (at least the ones who know) are also supportive and thrilled about our impending plans. Finally, BB and I are very much in love and absolutely dedicated and anticipating our nuptials and the start of our own family.

Sigh. I'm happy. I'm peaceful. I'm grateful. And I owe everything I have and everything I am to our Lord.

2007...another year, another chance. Make the most of this year and of the years to come. Enjoy life and love every breathing moment. There is much to be thankful for and to live for. Simply open your eyes and your heart. Simply believe that anything's possible. Happy New Year!