Monday, March 28, 2011


I love the rare moments when words spill freely from my thoughts onto paper.  An abundance of words forming complete sentences on a clean slate, filling gaps and stringing paragraphs; an intricate map leading to a treasure-trove of ingenuity.

I love the excitement of a completed piece of work worthy of a once-over.

No matter how lost and downtrodden your life appears to be, always follow your heart and your passion .

Sunday, March 20, 2011


Whenever I'm in a rut and hating life, I take refuge in a favorite book (Letters to a Young Poet by Rilke or perhaps Siddhartha by Hesse), a favorite CD (Rent, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, or Madonna's Ray of Light among others), or an uplifting DVD, in this case Elizabethtown.

I love this movie!  It never fails to make me feel better about life and the circumstances I find myself in.  The message of the film from my point of view is to embrace the beauty of life in spite of its flaws, to move past our so-called failures, and to see the bigger picture- that there's no issue too big, too difficult or too humiliating which we cannot overcome.  That somehow, it's really not that bad.  You're not that bad off.  Life isn't as bad as we perceive it to be.  And hell, things could definitely be worse than they are, but they aren't.  It's all about perception and what you do with all those lemons thrown at you from time to time.  Like the saying goes, if life hands you lemons, then make lemonade.  Maybe add a shot of vodka and some syrup, then enjoy!

Sigh.  In juxtaposition with the dire events in the world today, my life isn't as bad as I thought it was.  And I'm grateful to be alive...

On a lighter note, I finally purchased my Brandi Carlile ticket!  YAY!  I can hardly wait to see her perform live!  I love her music!

Nothing is as bad as you initially perceive it to be.  Take a step back and see the bigger picture.  It helps to breathe...

Thursday, March 17, 2011


I saw RENT at the Ovation in the Green Valley Ranch tonight to benefit Golden Rainbow, and my heart soared with happiness and nostalgia.  It's been a while since I saw RENT or any musical on stage for that matter, so it felt akin to Christmas morning or mind-blowing sex to have had the pleasure of seeing two of my favorite musicals within days of one another- RENT and Hedwig and the Angry Inch!  Christmas definitely came early for me this year, and I'm betting there's a beautiful nympho waiting for me under the tree!  =)

I absolutely love the message of RENT- "No day but today."  Sometimes, I forget that the present is much more important than what may come and what has come to pass, and I find myself dwelling on how I could have done things differently or how I could make things come about, all the while bypassing the part about living in the here and now.  The truth is life has no guarantees except this very moment.  Sigh.  Life is so very precious, and our time on this earth fleeting...Enjoy every moment.

The heart may freeze or it can burn
The pain will ease if I can learn

There is no future
There is no past
Thank God this moment's not the last

There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret-- or life is yours to miss.
No other road
No other way
No day but today

There's only yes
Only tonight
We must let go
To know what is alright
No other course
No other way
No day but today

I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only hope
is just to be

There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today
- "No Day But Today" from RENT

P.S.  Pilita Danesh, the actress who played Mimi in this production of RENT, was brilliant!  She's stunning, talented, and intelligent (she's a Harvard grad), and I loved her rendition of "Without You."  I hope to see more of her talent in future productions.

No regrets, baby!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

On a Hedwig High

A dose of Hedwig and the Angry Inch was exactly what I needed to get out of the slump I've been in since the break up.  I'm so happy I could cry!  I haven't been this happy in ages, and I'm relishing every minute of it.  I'm on a Hedwig high!

As I mentioned in an earlier post, the last time I saw Hedwig on stage was on January 29, 2000 at the Jane Street Theatre in New York City.  I will always remember that particular performance because John Cameron Mitchell returned to the stage to play Hedwig that night.  Needless to say, it was a brilliant performance.  And tonight's performance was brilliant in its own right because it jogged memories of my life in NYC and it inspired me to embrace all that I am and all that I once loved, but somehow forgot as time went by.  Sigh.  I'm on a natural high, and I owe it all to Hedwig.

Why did I ever give up my passion and interests?  Why did I ever leave me behind?  Why did I lose myself in the hustle and bustle of everyday life?  Why did I compromise parts of me for a relationship that would never stand the test of time?  Why did I let myself go?  Why did I allow myself to die a little each day I wasn't true to myself?  Why did I live an inauthentic existence for so long?  Why, why, why?!?!?!

Sigh.  Never again will I give up parts of myself.  Never again will I lose myself.  Never again will I compromise my existence, my happiness, my wants, my needs.  Never again will I accept anything less than who and what I am.  Never again will I accept a warped version of myself reflected in someone else's eyes.  Never again...

Always remember who you are and embrace what makes you whole.  No half-truths, no compromises...

Saturday, March 12, 2011

A Dose of Hedwig, a Shot of Brandi, and a Taste of Tabrett

I'm going to see Hedwig and the Angry Inch at The Onyx tonight, and I'm ecstatic about seeing this musical on stage again!  The last time I saw Hedwig was in NYC in 1999-2000 at the Jane Street Theatre.  Those were the days...sigh.

Yesterday's tragic events in Japan brought me to tears.  My prayers go out to those affected by the earthquake and tsunami.  I'm grateful that my family in Hawai'i are safe.

On a lighter note, thoughts do become things!  I desperately wanted to see Brandi Carlile in concert, and last night I discovered that she'll be performing at the Hard Rock in May!  Squee!   I'm absolutely thrilled!  She's a brilliant musician, and I can't wait to see her perform live!  *doing my happy dance*

That's another item I can cross off my bucket list...

Breathe feel love
Give free
Know in your soul
Like your blood knows the way
From your heart to your brain
Knows that you're whole
- "Midnight Radio"
Hedwig and the Angry Inch

P.S.  Tabrett Bethell has been cast in the new ABC series Poe, an investigative crime drama centered around famed author and poet Edgar Allan Poe.  SQUEEE!!!  Life keeps getting better and better!

Positive thoughts, positive actions, positive results!

Monday, March 07, 2011

The Law of Attraction

So I came across the documentary The Secret the other day, which is all about the law of attraction.  Basically, The Secret reveals that "thoughts become things."  Therefore, we must choose our thoughts carefully.


Here are some of my thoughts:

I want to be a successful published writer of best-selling novels.  I want to be famous and adored.  I want to be filthy rich.  I want to be able to share my wealth with those who are in need.  I want to be able to make a difference in this world and in this lifetime.

I want to travel the world and experience every good thing it has to offer.

I want to truly be in love and to experience great passion for anotherI want to find my soulmate, the one person who truly understands me and loves me unconditionally, and I want to share my life with her.  I want her to feel the same way I do, and I want us to live happily ever after until the end of our time.

I want to love myself and the life I lead.  I want to love life.

I want to live without reservation, inhibitions, and qualms.  I want to live unfettered by internal demons and external forces.  I want to live.

On a lighter side:

I want to engage in a candid chat with Madonna over a cup of brilliant-tasting tea.

I want to know Tabrett Bethell intimately and attest to the form-fitting nature of Cara's red Mord'Sith leather suit.  *swoon*

I want to win the lottery and Megabucks more than once.

I want to lose the extra baggage, both physically and emotionally, through good diet, exercise, and positive social stimulation (i.e., lots of passionate sex with beautiful women).  *giggles*

I want a personal library filled with my favorite books (all of them signed first editions, mind you).

I want to engage in philosophical conversations and actually hold up my end of it.

I want to be an excellent gamer.

I want to run a marathon and finish within a reasonable time.

I want to surround myself with family and friends who are supportive, trustworthy, loyal, and dependable.

I want a ZipPac and Zippy's chilli.

I want to attend a Brandi Carlile concert.

I want to finish writing my stories.

Hey, it doesn't hurt to think positive thoughts.  After all, there maybe some truth to this law of attraction theory.