30/06

I'm turning 30 sooner than I anticipated. I'm dangling over the edge of 29, and I'm afraid. Afraid of turning the big 3-O, of getting on in age with nothing tangible to secure my future. I feel like I'm standing still at this very moment, the past behind me and the future awaits me. As if I'm at a crossroads, but I can't turn back to the past and I'm looking at my future with trepidation. Everything will change. Everything has changed. There's just something about turning 30. I'll no longer be a twenty-something caught up in my own drama and searching for truth. It's acceptable for you to be undecided and lost in the ways of life when you're twenty-something. Nothing makes much sense, but that's OK. In your twenties, your goal is to figure things out, to question authority, to live unfettered, and to fly. At 30, however, you have to leave all that behind and know something, anything. It's expected of you. You have to be responsible and successful. You have to focus on other people, on other things, and no longer on just yourself. You have to know where to find yourself and where you're going. From here on out, you can't make a move until you've consulted with your financial planner. No more living in the now. Instead, it's all about creating a hefty nest for your impending retirement. It's all about living your last days in the best elderly home you can afford. It's frightening and overwhelming when you're turning 30 in 2006.

Stop the clock - Take time out

Time to regroup before you lose the bout

Freeze the frame - Back it up

Time to refocus before they wrap it up

Years are getting shorter

Lines on your face are getting longer

Feel like you're treading water

But the riptide's getting stronger

Don't panic, don't jump ship

Can't fight it, like taxes

At least it happens only once in your life

They're singing, "Happy Birthday"

You just wanna lay down and cry

Not just another birthday, it's 30/90

Why can't you stay 29

Hell, you still feel like you're 22

Turn thirty, 1990

Bang! You're dead

What can you do?

What can you do?

What can you do?

Clear the runway - Make another pass

Try one more approach before you're out of gas

Friends are getting fatter

Hairs on your head are getting thinner

Feel like a clean up batter

On a team that ain't a winner

Don't freak out, don't strike out

Can't fight it, like City Hall

At least you're not alone

Your friends are there too

They're singing, "Happy Birthday"

You just wish you could run away

Who cares about a birthday?

But 30/90, hey

Can't you be optimistic?

You're no longer the ingenue

Turn thirty, 1990

Boom! You're passe

What can you do?

What can you do?

What can you do?

Peter Pan and Tinkerbell

Which way to Never Never Land?

Emerald City's gone to hell

Since the wizard blew off his command

On the streets you hear the voices

Lost children, crocodiles

But you're not into

Making choices, wicked witches,

Poppy fields, or men behind the curtain

Tiger lilies, ruby slippers

Clock is ticking, that's for certain

They're singing, "Happy Birthday"

I just wish it all were a dream

It feels much more like doomsday

Fuck

30/90

Seems like I'm in for a twister

I don't see a rainbow, do you?

Turn 30 in the 90's

Into my hands now

The ball has passed

I want the spoils, but not too fast

The world is calling

It's now or Neverland

Why can't I stay a child forever

and

30/90

30/90

30/90

30/90

30/90

30/90

What can I do?

What can I do?

-"30/90" from Tick Tick Boom

by Jonathan Larson