Last Night...

Last night, I swallowed my fear and insecurity and attended The L Group Discussion Night at The Center (LGBT).  The meeting was interesting and insightful and it allowed me to venture out of my comfort zone and meet new people.  I've always wanted to attend a meeting, but some lame excuse or another prevented me from doing so.  In all honesty, my incessant fear and insecurity about everything new, unfamiliar, and outside of my comfort zone prevented me from participating in a lot of things in life.  It disgusts me that I've let myself miss out on so many things because I was afraid or insecure.  But I've finally come to accept that I can't control the unknown and can never be perfect, so rather than fighting change and living in fear, I am determined to embrace change and live.  God, I just want to live.  After the break up and losing Jocelyn to an untimely death, I've finally opened my eyes to the realities of the world and the fleeting nature of life.  Life is short and can be difficult at times.  But you can choose to wallow in self-pity and remain stuck in your situation or you can can view your situation in a different light and make the most of what you have at the moment.  I so sick of being afraid and insecure.  I don't want to live like that anymore.  I want to be free and alive.  I want to fly...

On that note, I plan to participate more in community events and continue to explore all that Las Vegas has to offer.  I also hope to learn more about the world and subjects that interest me.  And I will focus on me and embrace this time alone.  It's about time I take care of myself and my needs.