It's Over?

BB and I had another fight last night. One of many spanning...five or so years. This time, however, we went to bed angry. This morning, we were still angry. The thought streaming in and out of my mind is I hate her.

I hate her!

I hate her for bowing out when things get a bit tough in our lives!

I hate her for throwing the words 'it's over' at me everytime we have a huge falling out!

I hate her for using those words against me knowing full well that I absolutely abhor them!

I hate her for the ease she has in convincing me (and herself) that what we have (or had) is nothing more than yesterday's garbage!

I hate her for making me feel so...empty.

I hate her for entertaining thoughts of a life without her.

I hate her for failing to say goodbye this morning, knowing that's a first.

I hate her for leaving.

I hate her...

I don't know what happens now.