I spent the past few days exploring Las Vegas as a faux tourist with my grandma and two aunts, who are visiting from Hawai'i. I felt a familiar sense of peace and love descend upon me as I bonded with my family, something I haven't done in a long time. It's difficult living so far from home and away from loved ones, but no matter the distance between us, they remain in my heart and always will. My family ties remain strong and relevant. Nothing can break this bond. And it's comforting to know that that no matter what transpires in my life, my family will always welcome me home.
Sigh. My family returns to Hawai'i tomorrow morning. We said our goodbyes tonight with a pang of sorrow. I don't know when I'll see them again, but I promise to make it home soon.
On a lighter note, my grandma turns 79 tomorrow!!! Happy Birthday, Grandma!!!
Contrary to the renown cliche, you can go home again. I plan to do just that!
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Branding
I had my first bitter taste of being single yesterday. I was sitting on a bench outside the movie theaters, patiently waiting for a movie to begin by engaging in some people-watching, when a sweet elderly woman from Wisconsin sat next to me and sparked up a conversation. She mostly talked about her sons, a specific bachelor son, the farm she lives on, and her snowbird status. I mostly listened, fascinated at having met someone, anyone new without even trying on my part. It was refreshing and quite interesting. But then the conversation turned to me...
She asked if I were waiting to see a movie and if I were waiting for someone to see the movie with. I smiled and answered promptly, not realizing the trap I was walking headfirst into. I said, "Yes, I'm waiting for my movie to start" and "No, I'm not waiting for anyone." Then her next words cut me deep-"My you're a brave one." The smile on her face seemed to falter a bit, and I tasted the bitterness of my...status. My single status, that is. And thus began the branding...
To make matters extremely worse, she's been having a wonderful time being single again. She's been hitting the nightlife and making new friends, even going on a few dates (filled with the kind of drama she seems to be craving nowadays). I'm far from jealous...I'm simply disappointed. One of the reasons she gave me for the break up was she wanted to go out more and make new friends, to socialize, and I didn't. I don't want to hit the clubs; my clubbing days are over, and I never enjoyed the meat-packing scene anyway...although I did enjoy the dancing. I also refused to meet her superficial friends after the horrible stories she's shared with me (i.e., the gay Alex who determines point-blank whether you're hot or not, branding you for life). Call me anti-social, I guess...But it doesn't really matter now. It's over. We're over. She's doing great, and I'm...well I'm just peachy.
Seriously.
On a lighter note, I had a dream in which my Auntie Perle made an appearance. It was odd as I haven't dreamed of her in a long while, but it was comforting nonetheless. During difficult and trying times in my past, I always sought her out, hoping her wisdom and courage would console and inspire me. Sigh. I miss her.
I must embrace this newfound freedom...
She asked if I were waiting to see a movie and if I were waiting for someone to see the movie with. I smiled and answered promptly, not realizing the trap I was walking headfirst into. I said, "Yes, I'm waiting for my movie to start" and "No, I'm not waiting for anyone." Then her next words cut me deep-"My you're a brave one." The smile on her face seemed to falter a bit, and I tasted the bitterness of my...status. My single status, that is. And thus began the branding...
To make matters extremely worse, she's been having a wonderful time being single again. She's been hitting the nightlife and making new friends, even going on a few dates (filled with the kind of drama she seems to be craving nowadays). I'm far from jealous...I'm simply disappointed. One of the reasons she gave me for the break up was she wanted to go out more and make new friends, to socialize, and I didn't. I don't want to hit the clubs; my clubbing days are over, and I never enjoyed the meat-packing scene anyway...although I did enjoy the dancing. I also refused to meet her superficial friends after the horrible stories she's shared with me (i.e., the gay Alex who determines point-blank whether you're hot or not, branding you for life). Call me anti-social, I guess...But it doesn't really matter now. It's over. We're over. She's doing great, and I'm...well I'm just peachy.
Seriously.
On a lighter note, I had a dream in which my Auntie Perle made an appearance. It was odd as I haven't dreamed of her in a long while, but it was comforting nonetheless. During difficult and trying times in my past, I always sought her out, hoping her wisdom and courage would console and inspire me. Sigh. I miss her.
I must embrace this newfound freedom...
Monday, October 19, 2009
Rainer and Addie
Last night, BB and I came home to a tragedy. My calico Ryukin goldfishes, Rainer and Addie, were no longer with us.
When BB broke the news to me, my first reaction was anger. I cursed. I stomped my foot. I refused to believe that my beloved babies were gone. You see, Rainer and Addie were with us for only a couple of years, and goldfishes are meant to last longer. I don't know what happened and why their lives were cut short. But I do know it must have somehow been my fault. I should have been more attentive. I was their caregiver. Sigh.
After my initial reaction, I broke down and cried. BB held me tight and kissed away my tears. Why?! Why did they leave so soon? Why does anything bad happen? Why does everything bad seem to happen at once? Why us? Why them? ARGH! All I could do was cry.
BB, Harper, Artemis, and I said our goodbyes, and then Rainer and Addie were on their way. I hope and pray they felt no pain, only pure love as members of our family. I believe in my heart that they swam into that bright, warm light together, eternal soulmates in goldfish heaven.
We love you always, Rainer and Addie!
When BB broke the news to me, my first reaction was anger. I cursed. I stomped my foot. I refused to believe that my beloved babies were gone. You see, Rainer and Addie were with us for only a couple of years, and goldfishes are meant to last longer. I don't know what happened and why their lives were cut short. But I do know it must have somehow been my fault. I should have been more attentive. I was their caregiver. Sigh.
After my initial reaction, I broke down and cried. BB held me tight and kissed away my tears. Why?! Why did they leave so soon? Why does anything bad happen? Why does everything bad seem to happen at once? Why us? Why them? ARGH! All I could do was cry.
BB, Harper, Artemis, and I said our goodbyes, and then Rainer and Addie were on their way. I hope and pray they felt no pain, only pure love as members of our family. I believe in my heart that they swam into that bright, warm light together, eternal soulmates in goldfish heaven.
We love you always, Rainer and Addie!
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